Coven Gratitude Rituals

Gratitude is the conscious, positive emotion we express when feeling thankful for something. It is an emotion that spontaneously emerges from deep within us for something that can be either tangible or intangible. But it isn’t always a feeling that arises from an emotional response, as gratitude can also be a choice we consciously make. Robert Emmons, a leading scientific expert on gratitude, says that gratitude has two key components:

(1) an affirmation of goodness and (2) recognition that the source of gratefulness is from outside of ourselves. The affirmation of goodness means that we believe that there are great things in our world and that we have received these gifts and benefits (both big and small).

Then once we acknowledge this goodness, we must believe that the sources come from other people or even higher powers. We can achieve the feeling of gratefulness by recognizing that something or someone outside of ourselves has given us those many gifts.

But these two components are not the only facets of gratitude—there is a social dimension associated with gratefulness that is especially important. Gratitude is a relationship-strengthening emotion that can be useful for developing and solidifying the bonds in a coven.

This is because gratitude requires us to recognize and affirm how we have each been supported and upheld by other people. The sociologist Georg Simmel called gratitude the “moral memory of mankind.” He felt that gratitude as an emotion encourages us to appreciate gifts, but it also encourages us to repay them, which is what spawned the entire Pay It Forward movement. In fact, gratitude may have evolved because of the desire to repay our appreciation to others, strengthening the bonds between people in social groups that mutually helped each other out.

There are numerous rituals you and your coven can do related to gratitude. Here are a few ideas to get you started with counting your blessings:

Before every coven gathering (meeting, ritual, or celebration), take a moment to list three things everyone is grateful for. You can have each person write them down on a slip of paper or share them aloud. Like setting an intention for a spell or ritual, gratefulness works best when you are specific. It is nice to say, “I am grateful for my family,” but what does that actually mean? A specific appreciation would be something like, I am grateful my children put their dishes away without being asked, or I am grateful for the conversation I had with my dad on the phone today.

A great way to create a collective space for gratitude would be to have a book of gratitude that accompanies the coven’s book of shadows. Each person would fill in what they’re grateful for each time the group meets, creating a collective work of gratitude. Have coven members share what they are grateful for about one another to strengthen the bonds between one another.

If a collective book doesn’t work for your coven, consider keeping a jar that your coven fills with gratitude. This can also be a quick addition to any ritual or gathering.

Coven members can read their statements of gratitude and place them in the jar. Add it to a grounding or centering where the practice becomes shedding the troubles and worries of the day and replacing them with feelings and recognitions of gratitude. Or your coven can fill the jar by writing and depositing a gratitude slip that will be collected, and all of the slips will be read during a larger celebration like Yule. As part of the ritual, reading the slips will help everyone remember and focus on the sheer enormity of the blessings around them. Feeling the gratitude from yourself and your coven members sink in from a whole year can be a magickal moment in and of itself!

A great ritual is to think of someone who did something really nice for you. Maybe it was the barista not charging you extra for almond milk, the baker throwing in an extra muffin just to be nice, or someone in the parking lot helping you lift a heavy bag of dog food into your car. Create a ritual where you write them a letter of thanks and either send it magickally into the universe or deliver it to them (or even their boss!).

Writing down gratefulness, in essence, counting your blessings helps people feel more gratitude, more life satisfaction, increase optimism, and become more positive. If gratitude does this on a regular basis, imagine the impact it can have on your collective magick-making as a coven!

But it isn’t just writing that helps us process gratitude. Speaking words of gratitude can have a strong impact as well. Hold a gratitude ritual where each coven member stands in the middle of the circle holding a white candle. Each member says one (or two or three!) things they are grateful for about that person. The love and energy that will emerge as we share our gratefulness and receive the bounty of thanks from our coven members will create enough power to make any magickal work happen.

Appreciation doesn’t have to happen when your coven is physically together. If you have an online social media account, post things you are grateful for there. Challenge each member to post something they are grateful for once a week (or once a day!). If you don’t have a social media account, send one another text messages or photos of gratefulness. No one is ever disappointed to read something great!

As a coven, express your gratitude through volunteering together. Rituals don’t have to take place in a preset magkical space—remember that magick is all around us, and our sacred space is anywhere we want it to be. The same is true of gratitude! Come together and create a ritual where your coven goes once or twice a year to volunteer. Feed the hungry, make cards for troops, bake pies for the local fire department, or help the elderly in your neighborhood cut their grass. We are all interconnected, which means our actions impact those around us, and their response affects those around them. The more positive, good vibes we send into the world, the more everyone will benefit.

And it doesn’t have to be just humans that are helped! Put out seeded pinecones for the birds, walk dogs at a shelter, or pet kittens who need some love. Care for plants, clean up the wilderness, or plant flowers for your community. Vocalize your gratefulness to the animals as you perform these acts of kindness. All of these are great rituals that your coven can do each year to express your gratitude to Mother Nature and the web of life we are part of.

Another way your coven can create gratitude rituals is by creating a blessing tree. During a celebration or feast, have a set of green Post-it notes. Ask everyone to write down specific things they are grateful for to make the leaves on the tree. See the tree flourish over the course of the evening with everyone’s gratitude.

Like the tree, a gratitude tablecloth is a great way to get everyone involved in a gratitude ritual. Buy a plastic tablecloth from the store and set out a basket of markers (permanent ones are best). Have everyone in the coven write gratefulness graffiti on the tablecloth. As people move around the table, they can read everything each person has written. If you have enough room, using several card tables can enhance this ritual. Have each table covered in a cloth. Choose a theme for each table, such as things I am grateful for in nature, things I am grateful for in my family, or things I am grateful for about my friends. You can get as creative as you want with themes! And if you don’t have enough room for tables, you can always lay out butcher paper or section off areas outside with chalk and have everyone jump in and start writing. These are great ideas for larger gatherings, especially with children present, as it gives them a way to feel connected to the coven members and participate in a meaningful way.

There are so many ways to express your gratitude as a coven. From more intensive, reflective rituals to creative, playful ways, giving thanks for the blessings around us can never happen too much. It is important to incorporate space in our magickal practice for gratitude. Learning to take time to appreciate the world and the people around us is a magickal practice that brings joy and happiness into our lives. There is always time to stop and feel gratitude and reach out and give some to others. Incorporating gratitude into our daily and magickal lives allows for a more profound, richer spiritual practice.